Often times I like to think optimistically that the stormiest days of my life have passed and I now live in a world of contentment and am moving on with my life. However, it often feels like the storminess in my life will sometimes take over the calm tepid waters around me.
I have made the commitment to move forward with my life. To move forward is to let go of a big piece of who I have been for many years, but also, to escape the mature side of myself that has so often been selfless. It is in my best interest that I move forward and act my age in a sense. To not be more mature, to not be more prepared, but instead to be more reckless, careless and feel okay with making mistakes.
My boss mentioned me to recently that I stopped the habit of rolling my eyes. I didn’t even know this was a habit that I had until I considered the only time I was ever in trouble during my junior high years, was for rolling my eyes in Ms. Goetze’s World History class. I guess it was something I picked up as a preteen, and brought with me into adulthood. However, I have moved on from that stage and that phase… only took more than a decade.
With the storm of my career future settled, I feel more at ease to start new adventures in other aspect of my life. Personal for instance needs an overhaul. Commitment issues that I developed later in life, need an overhaul, and my wishing for a pet unicorn needs to be overhauled. I made that promise to myself that by the end of this year I would have the glory of adulthood, “health insurance”, and I completed that goal 9 months ahead of time. So with that aspect covered, I can not focus on the other storms of my life. Moving forward, and enjoying the world around me, making mistakes and trying to settle the storm that haunts me every few weeks.
The Jayne Project 