Today’s fun Moment with Mel moment is an enlightening one and I have to say that while it took me a minute to see it as a compliment or not as a horribly bad thing, I am now kind of glad to post about this.
Mel mentioned to me today over a conversation about growth, that I have grown a lot since I began my journey with her. She said in the beginning, I would roll my eyes a lot. So she has seen the change and maturity of me discontinuing the eye roll. Oh my am I embarrassed by that!
I started eye rolling at some point in 7th year, to the point where I got in trouble in class over it. Maybe my teacher was just having a bad day, but oh my, I about cried when I was sent out of the classroom for rolling my eyes. It was because she was talking about something our English teacher had talked about just the block before. I was in a particularly bored state of mind so apparently I rolled my eyes and was sent outside. Never being in trouble before in my life, it was quite the experience. However, that moment changed something inside of me. From that moment on, I rolled my eyes a lot.
I guess it became a part of my tell. I would roll my eyes in sarcasm, cynicism, and when someone would repeat something to me that I already knew. The habit became so apart of my being, that when Mel mentioned it, I about died inside. Of embarrassment because the habit used to be controlled, now its not. And that is something that needs to be fixed.
She always says that things come with age. I guess this is true, the steps I have taken in the last 9 months of my life have matured and aged me quite a bit. Where I felt like I was a little girl so long ago, in reality, my old lifestyle of childish antics and spoiled brat turned into something different in the last year, mostly in the last 6 months as I ventured into a new stage of my life with health insurance, a 401K and corporate matching. I knew this day would come. I figured it would come sometime when I was old, but I guess I kind of feel old now, or at least older then I was a year ago, venturing into a stage of my life I knew I would be in, just never knew when.
The dramatic eye-roll is now reduced according to Mel, and hopefully as I age, it will disappear. Proving I really have entered a new stage.
The Jayne Project 