Day 3, 4, 5 and a break (not failure)…

So things didn’t go the way I wanted them to last week with the start of this cleanse. Life happened and with it was a lot of ups and downs that threw me off track. The week leading up to a bit of a heartbreak and beautiful bridal shower for my best friend led me down a spiral path. It’s not failure though, for I am picking myself back up and am going to keep chugging along starting again this next week. I was doing well. Down 16lbs total last week from this cleanse, but I am sure I have put most of it back on as I fell off the wagon.

Day 3: I had to spend the day at a theme park. Maybe I should rephrase that, I had the luxury of spending the day at a theme park and riding rides with my Page and his cohorts. We played games and I got paid to pretty much enjoy myself. Not a bad day if I say so myself. Only problem is that a roller coaster theme park does not cater to the masses the way that Disneyland does. Being that a significant amount of my theme part time is spent at Disneyland, I didn’t plan ahead for a day where I would not be able to find foods that worked within the diet. So I started the morning with my paleo shake, and then I had deep fried chicken tenders for lunch, some orange chicken, and some french fries. It was not even close to healthy and being as hot as it was, I still did not get my required amount of water. I didn’t finish my shake the end of the night, and ended up passing out early, causing a big rift in my sleep schedule that would affect me the rest of the week. So I ate junk and starved myself, not the way I wanted the third day to go.

Day 4: Let’s call this trying to get back on the horse. I tried to do the shake and healthy meals and even though I was tempted to throw in the towel and start over later, I was good and did not cheat. My body was seriously hurting from the day before and I made an effort to go to the chiropractor and get adjusted from the whiplash that one gets from hanging upside down in a roller coaster. I didn’t cheat and I ate pretty healthy. I also discovered that if I am smart about it, I can afford to get the majority of my paleo meals from Whole Foods where the cooking is done for me. I am tempted to do that moving forward because cooking seems to be my biggest problem. As in I haven’t been doing it. So I decided I would get back on track the next day, and then I threw it all away.

Day 5: Well…. I had no shake at all that day. I ended up having a taco salad for lunch, with no cheese and no dairy. So it seems I might have stayed within my paleo realm. But I topped off the evening with Chick-Fil-A…. which proved to be a horrible mistake. I was sick all night, throwing up the processed foods and sugar from the sweet tea and milkshake. It really hit home just how bad junk food makes me feel. Maybe Paleo is working, if for anything, to change my habits and teach me that my body always feels crappy after junk and to prevent that, I need to eat better.

Day 6: I finished the paleo shake and supplements from the 4th day half day that I did the shake and supplements. I didn’t have any breakfast and decided to do the shake for lunch. It proved to be filling as I struggled to eat a minimal lunch after that. I however ended up going to see my acupuncturist afterwards and struggled after that to eat a healthy meal when I came home. Since I half assed it, I kind of continued that habit into the evening and can’t even remember if I had a decent meal.

Day 7: I don’t even know why I would consider this a day because I did no Paleo anything, and I kind of just threw caution to the wind. Starting my morning off with baked beans and chips, and sleeping the day away because of the nasty heat. I ended the day with tacos and carne asada fries which proved to be nothing but a tummy ache. Yep, its official. I do not need fried or processed junk ever again.

Even though the first week didn’t even really pan out. I learned a lot about myself. For one, I learned that I am not designed to eat whatever I want. My body definitely functions better when eat better. Spinach and chicken makes me feel a lot better than fried chicken and fries. I also am learning that I want to be thin. I really was happier as I was losing weight, and I felt like I was doing something for me.

This first week may have been a struggle, but it was working. I am finding that I am truly doing this for myself. H is not the reason I am doing this. He is about to depart on a long adventure, and while he is away, I am spending the time to focus on me. I want this for me. So I am going to fight this a bit more for me. Oily foods don’t seem to make me happy. Junk food makes me sick. So I am going to continue fighting for my health, and a better me. There are thing about my body I had to be honest with myself over, and it wasn’t body shaming, but body recognition. I am beautiful, inside and out, and when I am with my Girlfriends, I feel beautiful because they remind me that I am judging myself more than the world is. I know there are people who look at me in disgust, I feel like my parents do sometimes, but I have spent my whole life trying to please them. It’s my turn to please myself and on the track that I want to be. Doing things and making myself the beautiful version I want to be.

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