I came to realize this afternoon, after laying in bed in the middle of the afternoon, exhausted and feeling horrible that my willpower had disappeared. I had lost all will to continue the cleanse, I had lost all motivation and I had lost my way. I was so determined when we started, that I would follow through and move forward and accept that I needed this. Somehow life got in the way and I lost my way, and I lost my will to want to continue. I had finally spiraled out of control enough where I was back to where I started in feeling nauseous and fatigued mid-day.
I had to make a trip to the doctor today. I somehow injured my shoulder so badly that I could barely move it to type, let alone do the daily activities. It had gotten so bad the night before that I was writhing in pain instead of sleeping. This could not continue. I could not allow it, so in the morning, I awoke and called the doctor office and tried to squeeze in as soon as possible. Getting on the scale at the office hit me like a brick. I had gained half of the weight that I had lost. It was that half that reminded me that I was already starting the path! I could continue it!
I need to regain my will power. I need to regain my motivation. I need to remember this is for me! And so as I venture into tomorrow, I am forcing myself to get back on track. Bachelorette weekend is 18 days away, and I am going to enjoy it with the girls. In order to do that, I need to finish this cleanse. So let the cleanse begin again! I have a little over two weeks left, and I am more motivated than ever. I can’t cut myself off again. I have nothing stopping me in the next 15 days, I can totally do this! I will do this!
Accepting your problem is the first stage! I know I have a willpower problem. But if I want to get to where I want to be, I need to learn to say NO! So let’s do this team J! Let’s say no to snacks and sweets, treats and all the things you crave and think you need! It’s time for greens, water, and some nasty shakes! Let’s do this team! Let’s do this me!
The Jayne Project 