So today was such a busy day for me. It was the wrap up of the week with tomorrow being a holiday. The office is closed, and I am off, so today meant I needed to cram everything I could into the day. That also meant that I was lacking in the taking care of myself portion.
I had the morning shake, I had the morning supplements, but I did not have very much time for food. Looking into my bosses office with her cheez-it box and port wine cheese, I felt like I was fighting against a wall. Things I want (not the port wine thing), but the crackers! What I wouldn’t do for some of these crackers! Instinct I feel like, but there is more to me, there is more will power that I have. So I just stared longingly and remembered, I am doing this for me, I am doing this for my future, I am doing this for the child I will carry soon.
1.5lbs less. So only 75.5lbs to go as of today. I am tempted to count the packets in the box, to see how many more days of this cleanse I need to be on, but I am trying to take the different approach. Doing the cleanse is not about finishing an assignment, this is supposed to be about a change in life. I am supposed to be doing this for my future. I am doing this for my own health. I do not want to walk down a scary path and figure it out at 50. I am taking control now.
So I was good today. I had a sweet potato and a sausage and my shakes, and I was happy. I had a few bites of popcorn, but that was not much. I was not particularly drawn to it.
We went as a family to see a movie today. It was sweet, and pretty amazing. I wasn’t scared out of my mind like I thought I would be, but I had a lot of fun. It was also fun to see everyone enjoy time together without fighting. It’s weird what your focus is when you grow up. I never thought I would look down the row at my family and think, wow, we are all getting along. As a child, it was just about who had the bigger bag of popcorn.
As I saw another family enter the theater where we were, I was glad for that moment for my Mother, for her care and nurturing, letting us be kids for as long as possible and not exposing us to harsh things. She never let us buy the candy at the movie theaters, in reality, she never let us buy candy anywhere and I am glad for that because that means I have no nostalgia for it when I go to the movies, which in the summer is often. It makes keeping on the cleanse and enjoying social activities easy.
Finished the day at work, had fun at a family event, and really loved the fact that I was able to stay on the cleanse. Looking forward to tomorrow, when I am standing on the scale, and waking up feeling better than today.
My shoulder is still hurting though, so I hope a day off with lots of care will turn into a healing day for the annoying body part.
The Jayne Project 