I struggled with which of these images would be the best fit for this blog. I decided I need both. Every year for about 5 years now, I get asked the same question by those who enter my life, and just as quickly need to leave it; “Why do you do what you do? What is the point?”. It is never friends who have stayed, but rather people who pass through for a few months and think they have a right to judge. It is not your place to judge, its not your place to really care, for if you understood me, you’d understand “the point” of why I do the things I do.
You’re damned if you defend your actions and you’re damned if you don’t defend your actions, and honestly, I am at the point where I don’t give a flying monkey’s ass anymore. Life has taught me that. And that is sad. For you really, not me.
I firmly believe that every person who enters your life, whether to stay or to just pass through, is brought to you for a reason. I have been blessed with a large group of people who have stayed, not only because we built a connection and I wanted them to, but because they wanted to also. Relationships are a two way street, and I spent a good number of years in Primary and Middle school not understanding that, which either helped mold me into the person I am now for the better or for the worse. I will never truly know.
Every year or maybe even twice a year, I am asked, why do you have a passion for cloth diapers? Why do you know about baby wearing? Why are you a car seat tech? Why do you know all of this stuff about kids?
I used to get defensive, feeling like I was judged, like I was doing something wrong in this world. Then I progressed, I grew thicker skin, and I grew confidence for my passion. Now I smirk, wonder their intention for asking, and then calculate in my head just how much longer this person is going to be in my life and if I care to really give them my passion speech, or if I just want to say, “because I think it’s cool”, and walk away never to care again about that person.
So why do I do it? Why do I know the in’s and out’s of cloth diapering? Why do I read the blogs, test the materials, buy the products? Why do I take the classes, learn the new products, and share the knowledge? Why do I have a passion for this stuff?
I do it because for the majority of the last 6 years, I have wanted to know more. I have been intrigued by what is out there. The age of motherhood is different for each person. I didn’t know when I was going to become a mother. I had ideas of when I thought it would happen, but I didn’t know for sure when it would, and life’s little trials and challenges still keep me in the dark. When it’s meant to happen it will. So until then, why live in the dark? My passion has not been without it’s purpose. Zeva (LittleZ) is part of my life, she stole my heart the first time she wrapped her little hands around my finger. She can’t help but bring a smile to my face every time she jumps into my arms. That little girl, through all the drama, tantrums, and attitude, still warms my heart with every hug. Aunties are family too, and just because she isn’t my child, doesn’t mean that I can’t buy things for her, or keep her safe every time she is in a car, or keep her exposure to toxins low as she grows up in smog filled California.
There is never an age too old to learn, and there should never be a person judged for learning. Some might be passionate about designer shoes, others about art, maybe you’re into baseball stats, or historical figures. I am into living a non-toxic organic lifestyle, keeping children safe when riding in motor vehicles, reducing toxic exposure, exploring ways to connect, carry, and travel with kids, and understanding gear. Maybe it’s different than what other late 20-somethings are into, but look at it this way, at least when I have kids I won’t stand their stumped and not knowing what is going to fit in my car, trunk, or on an airplane comfortably.
So I like kids gear. I think art projects and tinker toys with my niece is fun. I think racing around with a 2 year old on scooters and balance bikes is a blast. I have no problems answering questions about the latest and greatest products, and I don’t care if you think my baby-wearing library is weird, or if I have cloth diapers stash. My family is supportive. My friends love soaking in all the benefits of the stylish auntie who always comes toting toys. So really, who has a problem other than you.
Someone asked me recently, why it is that I do what I do, and well, I do it because it’s who I am. I’m sorry you think it’s weird. I think it’s rude you had to comment at all, but it’s okay. because you do you, and I am going to be happy over here, doing me, without caring about what you think.
Life is full of odd balls and each odd person I know out there had a passion for what they do, for who they are, and they are happy. So yes! I am okay being the odd ball, being passionate, and smiling every day. I don’t care what you’re into, I just care that you are happy being you. It’s taken me 4 years, and a lot of support from friends and family to be able to get to this moment of accepting my passions as being a part of me, and being proud that I love something that can help others. Knowledge is for sharing, and I am happy everyday that I can help keep one more child safe, or support one more family to put clean diapers on their baby.
I am living this moment for me. And I am damn happy about it.
The Jayne Project 